"I will, no doubt, be taken to task for for criticizing the work of children, but as any pathologist will agree, if there's a cancer, it's best to treat it as soon as possible.

If you happen to stand over 4 feet tall, the agony awaiting you at Sacred Heart Elementary began the moment you took your seat. These were mean little chairs, corralled into a "theater" haunted by the stench of industrial strength lasagna.

My question is not why they chosen to stage the production in a poorly disguised cafeteria, but why they chose to stage it at all."

David Sedaris on This American Life's A Very Sedaris Christmas

"After all, the wool from the black sheep is just as warm."

Sister Margaretta in The Sound of Music

"There's no one quite like ewe."

birthday card from my mom

"Now, if you'll cooperate, I'd like to finish with you by tonight. I want to spend Christmas in Elmira with my family."

the bank examiner in It's a Wonderful Life

"Everybody is weird."

says a friend of mine.

"The storm could also affect senators, who are expected to meet on Saturday to continue work on health care legislation."

New York Times coverage of the 20.12.09 East Coast snowstorm

"Letztlich bricht Gott in unser Leben ein, wenn wir sterben. Dann kommt nicht das Nichts, sondern Gott. Das ist Advent."

says the new bishop of Essen in an interview.

"How Kors saw the outfits: 'looks like a bridesmaid's dress with a shower loofah ruched up the front of it'; 'looks like a tablecloth'; 'looks like a librarian's shirt dress from 1979'; 'looks like a teal charmeuse disco pumpkin.'"

June Thomas writing about Project Runway Season 6 on Slate's Brow Beat Blog

"My grandmother thinks she's American.
I get presents and there's always shrimp in it!
Unwanted hair is fast to grow.
The cat that lives near my house ignores me."

excerpts from the Tokyo Complaint Choir

“Like Peter Pan, we do not see our electronic shadow until it is pointed out to us. We assume it is not there.”

Text Messages: Digital Lipstick on the Collar in The New York Times

"Doch Schillers Verse sind einfach brutal.
So gut ich kann
kämpf ich mich durch den endlos langen Satz durch.
Doch komm ich hinten an,
erinner ich mich leider nicht mehr dran,
wie er begann."

Wise Guys Schiller

"Die will ich aber nicht!"

"But I don't want her!"

says the prince to his father who doesn't see that the woman in front of him is just pretending to be his son's fiancée.

From the opera Die Liebe zu den drei Orangen by Carlo Gozzi (libretto) and Sergei Prokofjew (music)

"Nu är det jul igen"

"Now it's Christmas again"

Swedish Christmas song

"Weltweiter Sicherheitshinweis: Die weltweite Gefahr terroristischer Anschläge besteht fort."

das Auswärtige Amt gibt Reisenden Informationen über gefährliche Ziele und spricht bei Bedarf Warnungen aus. Auch weltweit...

"Mr. and Mrs. Salahi, who are known in the area to have a taste for polo and fine wine, are aspiring reality-show celebrities."

from a NYTimes article about the state dinner crashers