"Work is work. Otherwise it would be called "super-wonderful-crazy-fun-time"."

- That 70's Show

"Though Oprah is arguably the most powerful woman in America, I find it hard to believe that more than one or two of her millions of audience members would run out and buy syringes to start injecting their hoo-has with estrogen just because someone on the Oprah show recommended it."

from a piece last year on Slate's XX Factor about Oprah's guests' controversial medical advice

"- I got a hundred dollar check from my grandma and my dad says I need to put in a bank so it can grow over the years.

- Well, that's fantastic. A really smart decision young man. We can put that check in a money making mutual fund and we'll reinvest the earnings into foreign currency accounts with compounding interest aaand IT'S GONE.

- What?!

- It's gone. It's all gone.

- What's all gone?

- The money in your account. It didn't do too well. It's gone.

- What do you mean? I have a hundred dollars?

- Not anymore you don't. Poof."

Stan from South Park learns what a bank is for.

"It's common sense. We are now looking for everyone who is a man, a woman, an American, an African, a Middle Easterner, an Eastern European, a Western European, a blond, a brunette or between the age of 20 and 49, which by my calculation leaves only one being on planet earth above reproach... and that is Alf."

- Rachel Maddow on her show talking about the government's new approach to identify terrorists.

"Ducks are mean."

Slate's Brow Beat Blog's How I Met Your Mother Shame Index

"Barney. Doogie. Average names elude me."

Six word memoir by Neil Patrick Harris

"Earlier animated series, notably 'The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show' and 'The Flintstones,' worked on two levels, but 'The Simpsons' works on one more: children, adults, and adults who read a lot."

NYTimes article about the 20th anniversary episode of the Simpson airing Sunday 10.1.10

"How Kors saw the outfits: 'looks like a bridesmaid's dress with a shower loofah ruched up the front of it'; 'looks like a tablecloth'; 'looks like a librarian's shirt dress from 1979'; 'looks like a teal charmeuse disco pumpkin.'"

June Thomas writing about Project Runway Season 6 on Slate's Brow Beat Blog

"Mr. and Mrs. Salahi, who are known in the area to have a taste for polo and fine wine, are aspiring reality-show celebrities."

from a NYTimes article about the state dinner crashers

"I have to go to the... whiz palace. [Pause] It’s a bathroom. It’s called a bathroom."

Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) during her practice date with her best friend (Parks and Recreation)

"Behinderte Delphine kommen zu mir und wollen mit mir schwimmen!"

"Disabled dolphins see me and want to swim with me!"

Stromberg about his therapeutic abilities (German version of The Office)

"Two eyes. That's the best amount of eyes."

from a conversation about a picture of a woman in The IT Crowd

"It's too big to be a rabbit. It's a giant, giant Scandinavian rabbit."

Tim Gunn on Project Runway s6e12

"Gay guys throw the best Halloween parties."

apparently this must be the truth because it was a line in TWO tv shows: Park and Recreation and 30 Rock

"We love to entertain you"

slogan of a German tv station which they constantly repeat before, during and after commercial

"What does a man pillow look like? - Daniel Craig. It's for my lower back...."

Leslie Knope (Amy Poehler) defending her pillow purchase on Parks and Recreation

"We are friends now. I mean, do I still snoop her red purse, read her texts and log on to her facebook page? Sure. But only as a friend."

character on The New Adventures of Old Christine about his ex-fiancée.

"Are you a large child or a small adult?!"

Tracy on 30 Rock

"I didn't come here to make friends."

from every reality tv show ever made, heard most recently from Robin on Top Chef S6E08

"Obama, meet me at camera 3."

John Stewart in The Daily Show